USC speech

May 27, 2008

How easily do you get jealous?

Filed under: Uncategorized — minimax @ 5:12 am

 

beg : to ask for something urgently and without pride because you want it very much  • clumsy : awkward in movement or manner  • competent : able to do something well  • complain : to say that something is wrong or not satisfactory  • conflict : If beliefs, needs, or facts, etc. conflict, they are very different and cannot easily exist together or both be true  • conform : to behave according to the usual standards of behavior which are expected by a group or society  • conscientious : putting a lot of effort into your work  • crave : to have a strong or uncontrollable desire for something  • criticize : to express disapproval of someone or something  • desirable : worth having and wanted by most people  • dominant : more important, strong or noticeable than anything else of the same type  • expectation : when you expect good things to happen in the future  • fly off the handle : to react in a very angry way to something that someone says or does  • fortunate : lucky  • go along with : to support an idea, or to agree with someone’s opinion  • helpless : unable to do anything to help yourself or anyone else  • life of the party : someone who is energetic and amusing and at the centre of activity during social occasions  • make up your mind : to decide  • material : relating to physical objects or money rather than emotions or the spiritual world  • pamper : to treat a person or an animal in a special way by making them as comfortable as possible and giving them whatever they want  • possession : something that you own or that you are carrying with you at any time  • raw deal : bad or unfair treatment  • resent : to be angry about and to dislike being forced to accept something or someone annoying  • schadenfreude : a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction when something bad happens to someone else  • source : the place something comes from or starts at, or the cause of something  • task : a piece of work to be done, especially one done regularly, unwillingly or with difficulty  • tense : nervous and anxious and unable to relax  • trade : to exchange something, or to stop using or doing something and start using or doing something else instead

 

 

 

 

01 Do you often feel life is giving you a raw deal?

 

If so, in what way? In what ways do you think you have been most lucky in life? How happy are you with your life now? In what areas do you most hope things will get better in the future?

 

 

 

 

02 Do you often experience schadenfreude?

 

What’s an example of when you experienced schadenfreude? When you see someone who is more attractive, more successful, or more fortunate than you are, do you resent them? Have you ever been resented that you know of for these same reasons?

 

 

 

 

03 Have you often wished that you were someone else?

 

If you had to trade lives with someone, whom would you choose? Why? Is there anyone whom you’d like to trade appearances with? Whose talents or knowledge would you most like to have?

 

 

 

 

04 When you are criticized, do you fly off the handle or get extremely depressed?

 

What are you criticized for? What is an example of criticism that someone gave you that actually helped you in some way? How often do you criticize others? When you criticize others, do you think it’s usually really a complaint about them, or do you mean to help them improve themselves?

05 Do minor problems in your life bother you more than they should?

 

What problems are bothering you now? When you have a problem, do you usually try to solve it on your own? Who do you go for help most often? What do you think was the biggest problem you have ever faced? How did you solve this problem?

 

 

 

 

06 Do you have trouble making up your mind when you are faced with choices?

 

When you’re having trouble making a decision, what do you do to help yourself come to a decision? What is the most difficult decision you’ve ever had to make?

 

 

 

 

07 Would you say that basically you are a conformist?

 

In what areas of your life, do you conform even though it’s not the “real you”? Whose or what expectations are you most likely to conform to? In what area are you least conformist?

 

 

 

 

08 Does it bother you that others have more material things than you do?

 

During what time of your life were you best off materially? What material possession is most important to you? Why? How important is it to you to be very rich?

 

 

 

 

09 Would you say that you were pampered as a kid?

 

How strict were your parents? In what ways do you think they pampered you? What do you think about the way your parents raised you? In what ways do you think they could have done a better job? How good a parent do you think you would be?

 

 

 

 

10 When you were a kid, did you often do things wrong—such as refusing to eat until you were begged to or putting on your clothes incorrectly—to attract attention?

 

Do you still do anything like this to get attention? What do you do to get attention? Do you crave more attention than most people? In what situations did you tend to crave attention more than usual? In what situations do you try to avoid attracting attention? How about in this class—do you think you tend more to try and attract or try avoid the getting the teacher’s attention? How about your classmates’ attention?

11 Would you say that you’re “too conscientious” about your job or schoolwork?

 

If your answer is yes, in what ways are you “too conscientious” and why do you think you are this way? In what area of your life do you think you might not be conscientious enough?

12 Would you say that you’re generally helpless or clumsy in areas other than your job (such as cooking, repairing machines, doing housework)?

 

What types of tasks are you most comfortable or confident doing? What are some tasks that you often have to do even though you don’t feel very competent?

 

 

 

 

13 Do you find that you can’t relax even when you’re tired?

 

How tense do you feel these days? What are the main sources of tension in your life? What do you do to help yourself relax? Do you do anything special to relax before going to bed?

 

 

 

 

14 Do you easily feel lonely?

 

How much time do you spend alone? How often do you do things on your own that people usually do with someone else—for example, eat out or see a movie? When you do, what’s usually the reason? What do you do when you feel lonely?

 

 

 

 

15 Do you prefer to be the dominant partner in your relationships?

 

How dominant are you in most of your relationships? How much do you like controlling other people? Do you think you usually can get what you want from other people? Do you usually go along with your friends’ or family’s wishes even when they conflict with what you really want?

 

 

 

 

16 Do you tend to be attracted to potential lovers who are, in most people’s eyes, less desirable than you are?

 

What would you describe as your “type”? What type of people do you think are most easily attracted by you? Are the people you are attracted to usually attracted to you as well? Looking back, have you ever been attracted to a person who was much less desirable than you are? Why do you think this happened?

 

 

 

 

RESULTS

0 to 2 : A score this low raises more questions than it answers. You may indeed be extremely self-assured and thus never feel any impulses toward jealousy. Yet a score in this range has to be suspect. Very few people are as self-possessed as such a score would indicate, so devoid of the insecurity that gives rise to jealousy. There’s a chance that you really belong at the other end of the spectrum and are so driven by insecurity and jealousy that you can’t afford to give honest answers even on a quiz whose results no one but you will know. Try and think it over.  • 3 to 4 : Congratulations. You are probably a strong, independent-minded person who is attracted to similar people. You treat lovers as adults and assume that they will treat you the same way. You are too interested in living your own life to be jealous over what others may or may not be doing. In short, you mind your own business. On those occasions that you do intrude into the affairs of somebody who is close to you, you are less likely to be acting out of jealousy than out of serious concern for that person’s well-being.  • 5 to 10 : Welcome to the club. Your sense of self-worth, like that of most people, probably as well developed as it could be. To make yourself seem more important, you sometimes need to feel that you can control and manipulate others. Just about all of us do so from time to time. Such behavior doesn’t mean that you’re “the jealous type”, but it does suggest that jealousy—and not genuine concern—will often be the motive when you interfere in the life of somebody who’s close to you.  • 11 to 16 : Your score indicates that you have strong negative feelings about yourself. These sentiments can lead you to feel jealousy, envy, resentment, and anger toward anyone you think might be “better” than you are. You’re likely to have a strong desire to control others and will feel jealousy when your apparently dominant position is threatened by independent action on their part. You stand a strong chance of being the quintessential jealous lover.

 

 

 

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